Ravin's Ramblings

Ranking activities by fondness, cleaning out the refrigerator is right up there with oh, say, getting a rectal exam. I don’t know why this chore is such a pain in my ass, but I absolutely hate this part of the Domestic Goddess lifestyle I have recently adopted. When I married my husband, I think that was actually in our vows. I don’t do dishes by hand, and I don’t clean the fridge. Because. And ever.

Well, until recently, I’ve had a get out of jail free pass. I could hide behind any number of convenient excuses. I worked a million hours a week. I’m busy recovering from giving birth to your heir. Since I’m never home, all that stuff in the refrigerator is yours so I shouldn’t have to clean it. Wait, you expect me to put my husband through college, pay the mortgage, car payments, Net Flix, cheese of the month club, AND do housework? You’ve go to be kidding.

So I’ve been a little bit spoiled and a bit of a princess when it comes to chores. But let’s face it; there are so many reasons to procrastinate.

-Someone might want that 3 table spoons of mac and cheese.

-I’ll probably finish those left overs before they go bad…maybe.

-Its called SOUR cream for a reason.

-Its icky.

-Exactly how many types and colors of mold can you grow?

-If I clean it now, it’ll just sit in the trash all week and make my house smell.

-Good gawd, have you seen my refrigerator?

Well, I suppose there are worse things than having to come down out of my princess tower , don my pink rubber gloves, slide the gas mask on over the tiara, and slip into a chem suit. I can’t think of any, but I’m sure there are. And before someone decides to leave a big steaming pile in my Wheaties, let me just say that this is really a rhetorical statement.

Well, I did it. And it was just as awful as I thought it would be. Jebus, I hate cleaning the fridge. First thing tomorrow I’m going to buy a lotto ticket so when I win I can hire a maid to do it for me. Now that would be one heck of a Christmas gift. See ya next month, leftovers and expired foods, I wish I could say it’s been fun.