Ravin's Ramblings

The last couple of weeks with my son have been difficult. To say he’s mommy-centric would be an understatement. It seems like every activity needs to be done from my lap. When he’s playing on his own, he howls like a crazed wolf child and when it’s time for bed or naps, he shrieks like a banshee in death throws. I can’t do any activity without seeing his little outstretched arms saying “Up? Up?” and if I refuse, he dissolves into an apoplectic fit before my very eyes. 22 months is hell.

Coupled with each little scream and whimper is my unreasonable resentment that his father is out having fun. This isn’t really the case. He’s working 12 -14 hr days, unable to even get a reprieve during dinner (which seems to be a synonym for meeting when he’s in the field). But this is what my mind’s eye imagines…my husband getting his free first class upgrades, drinking vodka tonics with a flight attendant hanging off each arm captivated by his every word. He gets to his hotel where they know him by name and open up the pool just for him, even though it’s after hours. During dinner, it’s a feast of merlot and filet mignon while his co-workers toast his cleverness and slap him on the back. When the day is finally done, he goes back to the hotel, works out, relaxes, and calls his wife for a minute or two before going to sleep.

When he’s home, I still feel like a walking human jungle gym with my son pulling on my legs or hands and crawling all over me when I sit down for a few minutes. He’s thrilled to death that Daddy’s home, and so am I, and the good Lord knows my husband is supportive. Still, my little shoulder devil can’t help but interject between the lines...No, no, honey, let me make lunch (from behind the safety of a child gate). I’ll do the dishes (so I don’t have to deal with Mr. Cranky Pants). You just relax (and take care of our son while I’m busy doing fun things). Heaven forbid I should even think about taking a shower because Z will sit out side, banging on the bathroom door, bleating his little head off while Daddy is blissfully snoozing on the sofa.

Then today, I get a message from my husband. He has a present for me. It comes in a little blue box tied with a white satin bow. You know, come to think of it, my husband did spend an awful lot of time with Z last weekend. He took him to get his hair cut, took him to the playground, tossed him in the air, wrestled with him. And he did make me breakfast in bed last Sunday, and let me sleep in on Saturday. And, you know, when I got up Saturday morning, all the dishes that were in the sink from the night before (where I collapsed in a fit of exhaustion just from looking at them) were in the dishwasher getting clean. And, you know, he does text me several times throughout the day and call me every night, which has to be difficult on him since he works so hard and doesn’t have a lot of time while he’s in the field.

…I hope they’re taking good care of him at that hotel where he’s staying. I hope he’s getting enough to eat…Man, my husband works hard. I’ll make him all his favorite meals and snacks when he’s home this weekend. And what’s that sweetie? You want up? You want to snuggle with mommy? How sweet! It’s important to hold on to these moments while you can, they’ll be over all too soon, you know. What a precious and amazing family!